Last night I had another of my fable-dreams.
I am receiving a payment for a portrait commission, and I seem to be remembering that it was Will I Am who commissioned me (Wow!!! Wouldn’t it be cool!!!). The payment is in cash, £18000. I feel really pleased and excited to have all this money, which is wrapped loosely in three newsprint bundles.
I have one or two (can’t remember, or perhaps the number varied from moment to moment) male partners with me. I share my joy and excitement with them and there is a slight feeling of wanting to see them joyous with me/for me and pleased with me/for me. I guess this is something I am internally working with at this time – wanting to please others.
The money seem to go to the group pot, meaning – we share it.
Then, we are in a street, standing by a car, ready to leave. Another car approaches and a man comes out. He and my partner(s) get embroiled in an argument. There is an understanding that this is an ongoing affair – it started sometime ago and not likely to end soon. They shout at each other and it is looking to get really violent. I am rushing to my partner to talk him out of this conflict, pulling at his sleeve, but he is ignoring me. I feel a bit scared, but more than that, I feel anxious that I will loose my money which at this moment got tossed aside and lying on the side of the road by some bushes.
I realise that my attempts to stop the fight are futile and I’d be better off to take care of money and leave them to it.
At this point in my dream, I am half-dreaming, at the same time conscious. I don’t want to leave the dream in this unresolved state, so I make a decision to stir it towards a positive conclusion. In my dream, I get the money bundles (making sure not to attract too much attention of the quarrelling people) and get into the car. Lock the doors. I sitting in the car and thinking, perhaps it would be even better to run away from this place all together…
Here the dream ends, somewhere between me sitting inside a locked car and me dashing out and away to where there are buildings and people. In any case, I feel my intention/decision: I’ve got the money. I am relatively safe.
I relayed my dream to Tim. He wasn’t sure what was the meaning of it I was so excited about. So, I had to explain the symbolism of it the way I saw it at that time:
Lately I am getting somewhere positive with my work on directing my vibrational/emotional state. Those who are familiar with the teachings of Abraham Hicks and Bashar or The Secret will understand what I am talking about. I guess, the majority of the students of these teachings at some point feel really frustrated by feeling “being stuck”, not getting much beyond theory of it all. But then it comes. Gradually, slowly it gets better, and that’s where I feel I am now – first steps out of the fog.
I see the money I got for the commission as a symbol of my emotional/vibrational capital. I worked hard for it, I earned it. This is my security, my reward, my stability. My gold I pined for. I am in partnership with some other persons and I accept that we share my wages, or in other words, we share our emotional/vibrational wealth. But then the conflict happens, and they are focused on it and hence, are about to loose our (at that stage it is “our”) money.
There are two options for me here – to get dragged into this stale and stupid affair for the sake of some perceived ties ( read: partnership, friendship, love, loyalty), or cut all of that out, claim the money, i.e. my vibrational capital, for myself and retreat to a place of safety.
In my border-state of awakenness I am sort of aware of the symbolism of the dream and I decide to give it a happy ending. Of course, a happy ending is a matter of perspective too. From a point of view of a certain set of values, a happy ending would be to forget the money, get into the fight, save the mate and walk into the sunset drugging the bloodied bloke on one’s shoulder. Love triumphs. So, it is interesting, but not eye-opening, to see what I myself see as a happy ending.
The way the dream ends I see as another dilemma which I am still undecided about – whether to sit it out in a car, although basically stick with the guys, or to make a runner altogether. Now, post-factum, I’d rather leg it.
Points I like about this dream:
- I have a vibrational capital!
- I made a decision to be free from self-imposed bonds!
- I once again experienced linking dream-state and awake-state!