This morning Tim and I had a dog walk together.
I relayed to him my bed-time booster conversation with Alina the night before:
“When people think about Alina, the word which springs to mind is Power. Power. Power of brain, muscle power, power of imagination, memory… You are powerful, Alina.”
I do this remedial conversations with Alina because I feel that she is a very sensitive child who, inspite of her huge and multiple powers, tends to downplay herself. Not in a small degree because she is so ahead of the game amongst her peers in many areas. It is uncomfortable to be noticeably different. She is very tall too!
Generally, Life encourages diversity within unity. Unity is the safety, diversity is the progress. But diversity has to prove its resilience in order to survive and contribute to Life. If it doesn’t have enough stubborn gut power to overcome the pressure of the mass which wants every unit to support the unity, then it becomes a thwarted cripple which was born to be different but didn’t make it.
And so, I encourage Alina to embrace her uniqueness, to be proud of it. To stand tall and to reach high never mind what the others think, say or do. It is a balancing game – observe, encourage, listen, counter the “masses” opinions…
Yesterday, to my cooing over her powers she half-jokingly said: I am spekal (mispronounced “special” echoing a character in the play we watched recently “The Play Which Goes Wrong” – brilliant!). I am spekal, – she said, – I am “gifted and talented” (the label the educational system gives to the top 10% of the pupils).
Tim and I laughed about this response of hers, and he expressed a concern that there is a danger of her attitude going too far the other way, towards arrogance. He in turn told me about a conversation between Alina and the mum of her best friend. Chloe, the mum, said that Daisy was being called a “teachers’ pet” at school. To which Alina proposed: “She should turn around and say: “Well, sorry for being that much cleverer than you lot!”
We laughed. “Great, – said I, – one mustn’t feel apologetic for one’s prowess!”
I pondered about it later. Perhaps Tim indeed thinks that getting big-headed is a real danger for Alina. I don’t. And even if she did, I’d rather have her do that than belittling herself in order to fit in with the majority.
In the situations like Daisy’s, which is SO normal, those children who call the others “teachers’ pets” are the aggressors. For their own security, they want to bully anyone who is MORE than themselves into mediocrity. So, those who ARE MORE must never succumb. Succumbing is denying oneself one’s nature. It is self-sabotage, it is moral suicide. And on the long run and bigger scale giving in doesn’t do any good to those bullies either.
If you are a star, don’t let anyone bully you into becoming an asteroid.